farewell, muffin-top

HOLY CRAP!

2010-05-12T11:26:00.002-04:00

i packed on some poundage! had to rearrange the apartment, and in doing so, i wasn't able to get to my wiifit. needless to say, i have not been able to do any real cardio (aside from running up and down subway stairs - which is about 7 flights twice a day. not a lot, but at least something). i've finally gotten organized, and upon stepping on that scale, i seriously wanted to cry. wii told me i was overweight (again - i wish it wouldn't do that) and hurt my feelings.

i am beginning to feel as if i will be a size 10/12 for the rest of my life. yes, it's a far cry from a size 16, but seeing those ugly rolls when i sit down really makes me not feel pretty. i'm not sure as to whether i want to continue tracking my weight losses/gains. i'm considering deleting this journal. maybe i'll keep it up, maybe i'll take it down. i don't know. we'll see what the scale says in a week or so. that may be my deciding factor...

omg crazy life

2010-03-19T10:40:00.002-04:00

loss of job + trying to find new job + current 'crazy pace 12 hour/day' job + stomach virus/ food poisoning and a few other things thrown in the mix have halted my daily squat/exercise regimen. i think i'll get used to the pace soon, and i think all the stair climbing to and from the subway and at said new job may help my butt a little too. i am hoping to get back on track soon.... i keep telling myself "i am not a failure".

2010-03-06T10:12:00.001-05:00

miserable back pain from last night and yesterday followed me into today. i'm only going to exercise lightly every other day until i feel better - i don't want to injure myself and end up laying on the couch for 2 weeks until i can move again. not happy.

2010-03-05T00:58:00.002-05:00

not a good week for me. i hurt my back (i've got an old spinal fracture) and have been feeling crippled. i haven't much felt like doing anything. took a break from squats, but i've been trying to do a little wii-step when i'm not feeling my backache so much. hopefully, tomorrow will be a little less painful. i want to get back on track. still hovering around 158 lbs. meh.

2010-02-27T10:59:00.002-05:00

well, whadda ya know... i lost 2 of the pounds i put on. i am partially convinced that eating some junkfood helped. maybe that will be a 200 calorie a day treat for me? all work and no play makes for a grumpy alie, anyway. killer leg cramp that still has me limping is keeping me from working out this morning. it was so bad, it feels like i tore muscle. for some reason, i wasn't getting them when i was drinking coffee (i used to get them every night until i started with the coffee). i have been laying off coffee and drinking green tea instead. now, a leg cramp. maybe there is a correlation? i've been eating bananas and raisins. maybe it's something weird with the coffee? i'll have to do some research. i know that i have low blood calcium and missed a few days of calcium pills because i ran out of them. maybe that's the ticket?

wii: maybe later
squats: rest day

2010-02-26T10:57:00.001-05:00

did my wii for 20 minutes. did my squats. ate some ice cream for breakfast, and had some potato chips at the studio. i feel happier that i'm not completely sacrificing.

wii: yup
squats: yup

2010-02-25T13:33:00.003-05:00

i'm beginning to say, "SCREW THIS" to myself. i put on a pound today. i went over budged by maybe 20 calories - i really dont' think that would break the bank. what is going on? pants are still tight. last week proved that no, i'm not pregnant, so why am i putting on weight? i'm drinking a normal amount of water, i'm staying within calorie budget, i'm not eating candy or junky stuff (except for maybe a treat, but if that is 200 calories out of my day, that's a lot-and i'm counting them!). is this really it? am i destined to be 160lbs for the next few years? i really don't believe in diet pills - i don't think they're healthy. i'm beginning to think that since i started this weight loss battle at 220lbs, losing 60lbs is all i'm going to get out of it without actually removing some of the fat via surgery.

i'm so bummed - like, really heartbroken. i'm just not happy, and i've been trying so hard to change and nothing seems to work. i know my boyfriend loves me for who i am, and it's reciprocal, but i'm trying to do this for ME so i dont' have to be embarrassed to wear shorts in the summer because i can see my cellulite. maybe 30 minutes a day of cardio isn't enough. maybe i need 40 minutes?

ooh am i showing a glimmer of hope?

p.s. i was still annoyed that i gained weight that when i went to the grocery store, i bought a pint of ice cream and a bag of potato chips. i don't plan on gorging, but since the scale is giving me rasberries, i'm going to give rasberries right back! (i'm going to measure and count calories, so whatever). anyway, my boyfriend will probably polish everything off for me sooner than i get a chance to have seconds. he's so cute.

wii: 20 min
aerobics video: 25 minutes
squats: rest day

2010-02-24T13:31:00.002-05:00

AGAIN! same weight. i just got over the 'monthly hump' so i figured that i'd have lost some water weight. i guess not. it's also doubtful that i have gained muscle weight. i just want to be skinnier so i can buy whatever shape jeans i want and not have to look for the big-butt ones.

wii: check
squats: check

2010-02-23T13:28:00.003-05:00

damn! my weight is the same again. my wii says that i've been working out for about 40 days now. one would think that i'd see a difference? at least a little one? i'm so hungry from eating reduced calories. i added a few more. i didn't want to get to that point that i went into 'starvation mode' and kept weight on. a small part of me feels like this is fruitless and to make the blub go away, that i would need to get some lipo. motivation is very low.

wii: check
squats: still on program

2010-02-22T10:55:00.002-05:00

UGH! up a little, down a little. at least the wii scale says that i've gone down an overall of about 2.8 lbs within the last 40ish days. let's see, that makes it almost a half a pound a week? maybe that's a good overall number? i just feel like things have stagnated. it's a little frustrating. i'm forcing myself to continue because i hate looking the way i look in my jeans. i just wish that my significant other would work out with me outside of my little program so that i wouldn't feel so alone.

wii: check
squats: check
attitude: meh

2010-02-21T10:21:00.003-05:00

i'm wiped out. passed out last night by about 10pm i think? i'll have to ask my boyfriend. got up at 1:30 and had little trouble falling back asleep. dragged my butt out of bed a few minutes ago to make my sammie for lunch, eat some breakfast and do my wii. let's hope the "scale" encourages me today. i tell you though, if i have to hear that little wii voice say, "THAT'S OVERWEIGHT" again, my head will start to spin around....

wii: check
squats: rest day

2010-02-20T10:17:00.001-05:00

ugh. so frustrated. i go down a little, then up a little. i've been sweating every morning for a few weeks now, my pants are still tight, and feel like i have nothing to show for my efforts. it's really disappointing. the little devil on my shoulder keeps telling me, "see? why bother? go have some candy and fry up some bacon" while the little angel says, "even if you aren't losing weight, you are doing good things for your heart. keep it up and you'll live longer and healthier". meh. i'm feeling half-hearted about this, but i'm going to try to push onward.

wii: check
squats: rest day

2010-02-19T00:54:00.003-05:00

running late today. only got 20 minutes of wii in this morning. going to do 10 more minutes of it before i go to bed tonight. glad i didn't eat the candy that greg brought in. it was kind of funny. he stood there (knowing i can't really eat caramels because they're so sticky) hovering near me going, "mmmmmmnomnom! oh alie... these are sooooo goood! mmmmmmmmmnomnomnom", but then almost choked when i smiled at him because he forgot that i was on a diet and literally just realized it at that point. he started to laugh almost uncontrollably, and apologized profusely, "OMG! I'M SUCH AN A$$HOLE! I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU WERE WATCHING YOUR CALORIES!" it was pretty funny. we laughed for a while. glad i have a sense of humor.

anyhow, not eating said caramels allowed me about 900 calories left in the day (i found out early about going out to celebratory 'yay no more helljob' dinner with the bfriend - he starts a new one on monday) and i was easily able to polish off half a 'sushi for two' platter and still have room for treats later! yay! i guess exercise is good for something! :p

wii: check!
squats: did 'em downstairs at work so nobody would see me!

2010-02-18T14:15:00.002-05:00

another day off. i have to meet some friends tonight, so that will cut into some activity time. maybe i can get most of my chores done before i go out? laundry is supposedly an 'activity' that i can count on my 'lose it' app. maybe i'll just keep the extra (what, maybe 10 calories burned) activity a 'secret'.

wii: check!
squats: rest day (ugh - these are getting difficult!)

2010-02-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

day off today, so i did an hour of wii. i 'ran' for 10 minutes. it said i 'ran' 2 miles. i wonder how accurate that is? i'd love to know if i can REALLY run a 5 minute mile? maybe in wii-land....

wii: check!
squats: check!

2010-02-16T13:56:00.002-05:00

another uneventful day so far. the chocolate cravings are making me batty! hot cocoa is NOT a good substitute for m&m's. it just makes me want them after i have my hot cocoa. maybe i can discipline myself to only 5 at a time if i suck on them? now THAT will be a test of willpower....
i'm trying to make some cyber friends on loseit.com. that way we can complain about craving chocolate together? i'm giving it a shot!

wii:20min am (i'll have to do at least 10min for pm)
squats: rest day

2010-02-15T13:52:00.003-05:00

nothing new happening aside from some intense m&m cravings. did my wii, had some leftover thai valentine dinner, did my squats. i'm really liking 'loseit.com' because it tells me all sorts of great stuff. i really hate wii for telling me "you're overweight!" every time i do a 'body test'. the journey must continue....

wii:check!
squats:check!

2010-02-14T19:17:00.002-05:00

stupid blogger keeps going to pacific time! ugh!

anyway, uneventful valentine's day today. brown-bagged some egg-salad and carrots for lunch. came home to an apartment that 'someone' had been smoking quite a lot in (and probably didn't leave a window and the door open to vent it) P.U! no time to blog, i have to get out of here. i'm allergic to cigarettes and it's killing me.

going to try and find somewhere to eat that isn't packed with lovebirds because my bf is m.i.a.

did my wii this morning and am not looking forward to squats on monday. bleah.

wii: check!
squats: rest day

2010-02-14T16:42:00.002-05:00

went out with the boyfriend for valentine's day last night. he wanted sushi. we went to our favorite all you can eat place. seriously, even at 10pm, we had to wait 20 minutes for a table. that place is no longer toronto's best kept secret. at least it means that they will be in business for a while.

i tried to put a cap on the sushi-eating. i figure that each piece ends up averaging 50 calories (at least i hope so). even at that, i had about 1100 calories left by the time we went to eat, so if i had wanted, i could have eaten about 22 pieces. i think i ate 14 or 15 at best, so i didn't feel like i pigged out. well, i'll just exercise a little more on sunday.

wii: check!
squats: rest day

2010-02-12T11:42:00.000-05:00

i hate looking down and seeing all this juggly stuff. stomach, thighs... yuk. i also hate that i can't wear skinny jeans because my huge calves WON'T FIT IN THEM! i also can't wear tall boots because my calves are too big. it's really disappointing. the boots i tried on for people with "extra wide calves" were just toooooo big. well, there's a reason right there to keep plugging away at this.

my weight went up a little. i'm disappointed, but i know i can't let it bug me. i could be retaining water, it could be 'that time of the month' kind of stuff, or maybe i just overate between the all you can eat sushi the other night (whick i thought i had under control) and the indian food last night (since most of that is made with butter... delicious butter...)

another day, another workout. keep going, alie... you can do it....

wii: 45 minutes
squats: check!

2010-02-11T21:36:00.003-05:00

had a busy day today. did laundry, got some drawings done, did some chores, and drove my boyfriend around to get an office chair for himself. finally found one on clearance at staples. it was a little beat up, but it was my boyfriend's favorite. he said that it was the most comfortable. eh... not like anyone is really going to see it. after a few minutes of trying to get it into my car (damn sedans!), we finally did it, and were off to get some food. he REALLY wanted indian or something spicy (not my thing - i am not good with spicy).

he picked a place, the waitress was very nice (and had the chef adjust the spicy to meet my wimpy), and we ate happily. he ordered several entrees (he wanted to sample a little bit of several things) and though i had no idea what anything was, it was all very tasty! sometime today, i think i'm going to take the takeout menu and go through it and see if i can find calories on the items i ate. i didn't have a lot, maybe 3/4 of a piece of naan bread, 1/4 cup of rice, and maybe 3/4 cup - 1 cup of assorted deliciousness. i know that i had about 900 calories left in my day, so i might have been ok on my diet. well, even if i wasn't, maybe i can make up for it a little today.

wii: check!
squats: rest day

2010-02-10T14:10:00.004-05:00

doing pretty well. i lost another few ounces since i began the brown bag lunch/WiiFit diet! YAY! i'm taking a few hours to work on some drawing 'homework', then i'll do my 200 squat challenge for today.

oh, and by the way, weight watchers can eat my shorts. been there, done that, sick of counting points and being penalized monitarily for not going to every meeting. BAH! the 'Lose It' app for my ipod far surpasses it in convenience. i don't have to carry my 'points encyclopedia' around with me when i want to eat something. i just need my ipod.

oh let's see, i want sashimi? type it in, click how many pieces, and it tells me how many calories it is and i can put it in my log. i had one of my favorites today, a grilled cream cheese and bacon sammich for lunch. go to the ipod, look in the 'my foods' tab (where i enter what i usually eat - it makes things so convenient when you are a creature of habit). enter 1 1/2 pieces of bacon (65 cal), two pieces of bread with 1 tsp butter on each of them (240 cal), and 2 Tblsp low-fat cream cheese (70 cal). it totals it right there, adds it to my daily total, and now i know that i have 372 calories for lunch (so far - i'll probably eat an apple a little later), and with my breakfast included, i've got 817 calories left for snacks and dinner.

once i enter in the 45 minutes of low impact exercise.... i have over 1,000 calories left for snacks and dinner. depending on how hungry i am, i'll see if i go over or not, but i have it set so that i lose about a pound/week. if i go into the red, i'll just have to do more exercise tomorrow.

this app also has a website called 'loseit.com' which i signed into, and it gives me a network of 'friends' if i want to complain to anyone about craving chocolate, and gives motivational tips. i think the reason i love this so much is because it's so easy to follow. if i walk, or do dishes, or clean the bathroom, i look in the exercises, tap in how much time i put in (yes, there is a cleaning calorie count as well as a lovemaking count among other things such as 'real' exercise like walking or running)

eh, i think i am rested enough. time for squats!

wii: check!
squats: check!

2010-02-09T09:32:00.003-05:00

i found the BEST app for my ipod! it's called 'lose it', and it is amazing! it has food lists with calories, so you no longer have to see what i eat for breakfast or lunch (snore), because i'll be entering and keeping track of my diet in there.

it also has a section where you enter the amount of activities you do along with the intensity, and it will shave a few calories off of your daily total. i set my calorie goals so that i will lose 20 lbs over the course of a year. if you are trying to lose weight, and you have an ipod touch/ iphone, it's worth checking out!

k, so that's it for news. i'm typing this a day late (i forgot to do it last night). time to hop on my wii and do my daily weigh-in and run my obstacle course!

(yesterday)
wii: check!
squat challenge: check!

today-
wii: check!
squats: rest day

2010-02-07T10:41:00.002-05:00

got up early enough to do 15 minutes of exercise this morning! yay! now that i know that i have to do the 'body test' on the wii to get a stamp, i can save some time and do 2 15 minute increments - one in the morning and one in the evening if i don't have 20 - 30 minutes to spare in the morning because i am running late.

taking frosted flakes or some other sweetened cereal is really helping my sweet tooth a lot. i figure that the cereal is a little better for me than a candy bar or a bag of m&m's. when i was having my m&m meltdown yesterday, i remembered that i had frosted flakes. i ate those, drank my water, and the sugar monster slunk back into the shadows.

i also have to ask my friends who also has a wii so that we can be wii friends and do the online wii/mii thing. i think it makes it more fun to see other characters other than your own when you play!

wii: 15 minutes am
breakfast: toast with a tsp of peanut butter, coffee
lunch: ham sammie on wheat with lettuce, cheese and mustard, carrots to munch, frosted flakes for the sweet tooth

2010-02-06T15:34:00.005-05:00

ok, so i didn't wake up as early as i would have liked to this morning. i 'exercised' on my wii for 25 minutes, but i guess i need to do 30 minutes to get a 'you did your wii today' stamp. that just means that i have to put in an extra 5 minutes tonight.

i really crave m&ms today, and i am trying sooooo hard not to buy some. it's only 3:45ish and i'm about to cave. i'm sucking on a halls vitamin c losenge in hopes that it will curb my sweet tooth. all it's doing is making me wish it were chocolate-flavored. fingers crossed that i make it to 8pm tonight.

lunch: ham and swiss on whole wheat with lettuce, frosted flakes for breakfast, baby carrots to munch on
dinner: pizza and diet coke
wii: 25 minutes in the am, 7 minutes in the pm (i found out that i have to do the weigh-in to get my stamp, not 30 minutes)
squats: 2 days of rest. i begin on monday again

2010-02-05T09:57:00.002-05:00

lunch: egg salad on whole wheat again. put some mustard and dill in it. nom! omg i love egg salad. brought an apple and cereal for snacks.

WiiFit: 20 mins
Squats: yup (since i was late going to work, and i didn't want anyone there to see me, i did them in the bathroom!)

2010-02-04T09:56:00.002-05:00

lunch: egg salad on whole wheat with lettuce. cereal to crunch on and an orange.

WiiFit: no
Squats: rest day

2010-02-03T09:55:00.005-05:00

good-bye muffin-top! farewell, saddlebags! no more fat pants 4 me! i won't be missing you when you start to go away. I am beginning my exercise and brown bag lunch life change today. my goal is to lose the 20 lbs that i put on since i came to toronto. i am going to do my best to get on my WiiFit at least 3 days a week (if not every day), do the 200 squats challenge, and i'll be brown-bagging my lunch. i'm going to try to eat reasonable dinners too, though i may forget to post them.

this blog is going to act as my journal. since i love to blog so much, i'll be more apt to keep up with my regimen. i figure that if i fall off the fitness tractor, i face internerd ridicule (if anyone actually finds and reads this), so i will be more apt to quickly clamber back on and plow ahead! if you find this blog, maybe you could take a minute to cheer me on and help keep me motivated every now and again? i'd appreciate it. so here goes:

lunch: egg salad on whole wheat with red leaf lettuce, 10 baby carrots, orange, frosted mini-wheats to snack on if i get a sweet tooth.
WiiFit: 30 minutes of fun fun fun
squat challenge: yup